Here is a list of the best jokes for kids, according to parents who have heard them over and over (and over) again, and still found them worth a chuckle!

Pretty much every kid goes through a joke-telling phase, so go ahead and bookmark this always-growing collection of funny jokes for kids, so you are totally ready when that joke-bug hits.

From easy-to-tell knock knock jokes to groan-worthy dad jokes (and plenty of potty jokes, too!), vote for the best kids jokes below, and help other parents out by adding your favorites as well!

0 /750
 
  •   -   08/17/2019

    What did the shark say when it ate the clown fish? Tastes funny.

  •   -   11/24/2019

    Why does a duck have feathers? To cover his butt quack

    •   -   11/24/2019

      Oh my goodness my kids will love this one!!! Butt and fart jokes are the best 😁

    •   -   06/05/2021

      Omg that is incredibly funny I cant wait to tell my kid

    •   -   12/18/2021

      this one is from google btw i saw

    •   -   04/30/2021

      hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

  •   -   09/16/2019

    What did the triangle say to the circle? You're pointless.

  •   -   02/17/2020

    Why should you never give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll Let it Go.

    •   -   11/26/2020

      Lol, I dont get this one!

      •   -   11/26/2020

        Let it Go is the song Elsa sings in the movie Frozen - so, she’ll let the balloon go and it will fly away!! 😆

    •   -   02/10/2022

      Omg that was so good

  •   -   07/03/2020

    What do you call a dinosaur fart? A blast from the past!

  •   -   07/16/2019

    Why did the mushroom like to party so much? Because he was a fun-guy.

  •   -   06/13/2019

    What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

  •   -   11/23/2019

    What do you call a sleeping tyrannosaurs rex? A Dino-snore

  •   -   06/14/2019

    Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight (ate) nine!

    •   -   12/18/2021

      thats a good one !!!!🤣🤣🤣😂😂

  •   -   12/05/2019

    Why was the math book sad? Because it had so many problems.

  •   -   07/16/2019

    What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nach-o cheese.

  •   -   10/11/2019

    What's brown and sticky? A stick.

    •   -   05/15/2023

      This one is the best! Whenever the kids guess something, you just keep saying, "stickier," and make them guess again!

  •   -   08/22/2019

    How do trees access the Internet? They log on

  •   -   11/24/2019

    Who is Santa’s favorite singer? Elf- is- Presley What kind of music do elves like? Wrap music

  •   -   11/10/2019

    Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

  •   -   10/11/2019

    Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your genes.

    •   -   11/11/2019

      Ewwwww!

      •   -   11/11/2019

        I know!!! All of us (even my tweens!) said the same thing when we first heard it, but could not help laughing, either!!! 😝

  •   -   11/24/2019

    Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “p” is silent!

  •   -   08/06/2019

    Why were the cows yelling at the farmers? They were just being moody.

  •   -   06/13/2019

    How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.

    •   -   06/13/2019

      Ha! My favorite joke of all time. It never gets old! 🤪

  •   -   08/29/2019

    What did one eye say to the other eye? Between you and me something smells.

  •   -   08/01/2019

    What did the little corn say to the mama corn? Where is pop corn?

  •   -   06/13/2019

    Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.

  •   -   06/13/2019

    Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.

  •   -   11/10/2019

    What do call a cow eating grass? A lawn mooer.

  •   -   07/22/2020

    Do you know what's really odd? Every other number.

  •   -   08/22/2019

    Why do trees hate tests? Because they get stumped by the questions.

  •   -   01/30/2020

    What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

  •   -   02/17/2020

    Why was the car so stinky? It was full of gas.

  •   -   08/01/2019

    What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling

  •   -   02/19/2020

    Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears.

  •   -   06/19/2019

    How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten tickles!

  •   -   06/13/2019

    How much does a pirate pay for ear piercing? A buccaneer.

  •   -   06/13/2019

    What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

  •   -   07/25/2019

    What did one firefly say to the other? You glow, girl!

  •   -   06/13/2019

    Why did the toad cross the road?: It wanted to show his guts.

  •   -   08/23/2020

    Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was out standing in his field.

  •   -   10/01/2019

    Why did the computer need glasses? To improve his website.

  •   -   05/11/2020

    How do you make a piece of bread feel good? You butter it up!

  •   -   09/13/2019

    How do teachers go swimming? First they test the waters.

  •   -   06/25/2019

    What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-Hurty!

  •   -   07/30/2020

    What did zero say to eight? I like your belt!

  •   -   07/15/2020

    What can jump higher than a house. Anything a house can't jump

    •   -   01/04/2022

      This is so funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂

  •   -   06/13/2019

    What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

  •   -   07/24/2019

    What do computers love to eat? Microchips.

  •   -   08/15/2020

    How do you make a milkshake? You put a cow on a trampoline!!!!!

  •   -   05/11/2020

    What type of bug is good at counting? An Account(ant)

  •   -   07/27/2020

    What does a car do when it's too old to be in a race? It re-tires! 🏎️

  •   -   04/23/2020

    Who keeps the ocean clean? The MER-MAID

  •   -   08/14/2020

    What is the best part about living in Switzerland ? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus. 🇨🇭😆

  •   -   08/16/2019

    Where do skeletons go for a fun night out? Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.

  •   -   09/21/2020

    Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Cause then they would be bagels

  •   -   09/16/2019

    What did the acorn say when he grew up? Geometry.

  •   -   07/31/2020

    What did the man say when he walked into a bar. Ouch!

  •   -   12/05/2019

    What do pirates do when they hear music? They shake a little booty.

  •   -   07/25/2020

    Why did the twin elephants have to leave the beach? They only had a pair of trunks.

  •   -   08/22/2019

    Where do saplings go to learn? Elementree school.

  •   -   07/25/2019

    What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

  •   -   08/25/2020

    What did the racing snail say to his friend? Look at that escargo.

  •   -   01/22/2021

    Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? He got stuck in a crack.

  •   -   12/16/2020

    Why do cows where bells? Because their horns dont work

  •   -   01/23/2021

    What did the scarf say to the hat? You go on a head, I’ll go around.

  •   -   09/13/2019

    What kind of dinosaur uses big words? A thesaurus.

  •   -   12/16/2020

    Did you know that the first French fry wasn't made in France? It was actually made in grease

  •   -   10/01/2019

    Why was the computer considered a superhero? Because of its screen saver.

  •   -   09/12/2020

    Whats green and pouty? The Incredible Sulk

  •   -   09/21/2020

    What did one wall say to the other? Ill meet you at the corner!

  •   -   08/23/2020

    What did the snail say when it was sitting on the turtle? Wheeeee!

  •   -   01/21/2021

    What does a cloud wear under its raincoat? Thunderwear!

  •   -   09/28/2020

    Knock knock Whose there? Amiss Amiss who? A mosquito bit me

  •   -   10/06/2020

    What is a boomerang that never comes back? A stick!

  •   -   10/09/2019

    Why did the lobster blush? Because the sea weed.

  •   -   10/28/2020

    What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investa-gator

  •   -   11/21/2020

    Why was the computer late for work? It had a hard drive.

  •   -   05/11/2020

    Why did the cat leave the party? She wasn't feline well.

  •   -   01/23/2021

    What does a janitor yell when he jumps out of a closet? SUPPLIES!

  •   -   09/06/2020

    How do oceans greet each other? by waving!!

  •   -   01/23/2021

    Why didn’t the invisible man take a job offer? He couldn’t see himself working there.

  •   -   09/21/2020

    Why did the cookie go to the doctor? He was feeling crummy

  •   -   05/19/2021

    Want to here a joke about a broken pencil? Never mind it’s pointless

  •   -   09/08/2020

    What is the most religious insect A Praying Mantis

  •   -   01/21/2021

    Why is a pirate called a pirate? Because they arrrrrreeeee.

  •   -   05/19/2021

    Why did the super hero flush the toilet? Because it was his dooty

  •   -   01/28/2021

    What kind of bagel flies? plain

  •   -   01/21/2021

    What did one tomato say to the other? You go ahead, I’ll ketchup.

  •   -   01/21/2021

    How do you prepare to throw a space party? You planet.

  •   -   07/13/2021

    What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.

  •   -   12/21/2020

    Knock knock “ Who’s there“ Boo “ boo-hoo “ Don’t cry it is just a joke

  •   -   11/17/2020

    Why does the bike fall over? It was tired

  •   -   02/03/2021

    What do you get when you walk across a snowman and a Vampire Frostbite

  •   -   12/13/2020

    Knock knock Who's there The interrupting cow Interrupting cow "mooo"who

  •   -   02/07/2021

    What letter can you drink? "T"

  •   -   04/12/2021

    Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind. It's tearable.

  •   -   10/21/2021

    What's invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny Farts

  •   -   01/07/2021

    Who won the princess race? Rapunzel by a hair

  •   -   02/10/2021

    What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh

  •   -   12/22/2020

    What did the buffalo say to the son Byson

  •   -   08/12/2021

    What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? Irrelephant.

  •   -   08/12/2021

    What do you call a pig playing tug-of-war? Pulled pork.

  •   -   11/19/2021

    How much does a chimney cost

    •   -   11/30/2021

      Nothing...it's on the house!

  •   -   02/10/2021

    Why are lemons and limes always angry? Because they’re in a sour mood

  •   -   06/06/2021

    Knock knock Who’s there? Hike Hike who? I didn’t know you like Japanese poetry

  •   -   11/22/2020

    What does the cat say when the job is done well ? Purrrr-fect!!!

  •   -   07/12/2021

    Why didn't Noah play cards on the ark? He was standing on the deck.

    •   -   07/13/2021

      Get off the cards, Noah!! 😁😁😁

  •   -   09/17/2021

    Why don't monkey's like to play cards in the jungle? Because there's too many cheetahs!

  •   -   05/19/2021

    What’s a elf’s favorite thing to do? Sing the elfabet ( alphabet )

  •   -   01/23/2021

    What does a triceratops sit on? Its tricera-bottom.

  •   -   10/20/2020

    Why can’t a T-Rex clap its hands? Because it’s extinct.

  •   -   02/20/2021

    What is Dracula’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine

  •   -   08/24/2021

    Why didn’t the bear want dessert? Because it was stuffed

  •   -   10/21/2021

    If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN... They get really upset.

  •   -   09/09/2021

    Knock knock who’s there police police who? Police hurry up it’s chilly outside

  •   -   08/09/2021

    How Do You Make A Water Bed More Bouncey? You Add Spring Water

  •   -   10/21/2021

    Kid: How many letters are there in the alphabet? Parent: 26 Kid: Nope, 25, because I don't know Y

  •   -   11/28/2021

    What did the lettuce say to the tomato during the race? You better ketchup or lettuce win!

  •   -   11/01/2021

    What did the pirate say at his 80th birthday party? Aye matey!

  •   -   06/16/2021

    Why did the boy bring a ladder to sining class So he can sing high

  •   -   05/19/2021

    Why did the pencil go to the sharpener? Because he wanted to get a sharp new look!

  •   -   09/16/2021

    What do you call a sneaky pasta? Spy-guetti

  •   -   08/30/2020

    Hahahahahahahahahahahaha😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

  •   -   09/16/2021

    What do you call an alligator that shows you which way to go? A Navigator

  •   -   09/01/2021

    Jack wanted to build a car out of noodles and but Jill said it was impossible. She couldn't believe her eyes when he drove right pasta!

  •   -   11/28/2021

    What did the camera man say to the frog family? Give me a slimy (smiley) face!

  •   -   11/28/2021

    What do sheep wear to the beach? Baaaaakinis

  •   -   11/28/2021

    Knock knock, Who’s there? Little old lady, Little old lady who? Woah I didn’t know you could yodel!

  •   -   09/16/2021

    Knock knock Who’s there Ash Ash who Bless you

    •   -   05/15/2023

      I like this one with "Hatch" instead of "Ash," but either way, it's comedy GOLD!

  •   -   01/09/2022

    what did the green light say to the red light do not look I'm changing

  •   -   09/08/2021

    Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling right!

  •   -   04/26/2023

    I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me

  •   -   09/16/2021

    What's the worst part about giving a cat a bath? Getting the hair off your tongue.

  •   -   02/11/2022

    What did the pepper say when they got put in the fridge? Is it just me or is it chili 🌶 in here

  •   -   02/11/2022

    Why did the pepper fail archery class? He didn’t habenero!

  •   -   02/15/2023

    What turns a cucumber into a pickle? A jarring experience.

  •   -   02/15/2023

    How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!

  •   -   02/23/2022

    Where does Mr Pibb go when he gets sick? To see Dr Pepper !

  •   -   02/11/2022

    What did the cub do when his friend got back? He gave him a big bear hug! 🐻

  •   -   02/11/2022

    What did one plate say to the other? Don’t worry…Dinner is on me!

  •   -   10/30/2022

    What do you say to a toilet on its birthday? Happy bidet.

  •   -   04/21/2023

    Did you hear about the farmer who took 8 cows out to the field? When he rounded them up, he had 10!

  •   -   05/15/2023

    Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter? A: You may think it's "R," but my first love is the "C" (sea).

  •   -   02/15/2023

    Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

  •   -   02/11/2022

    What do you do when your in a cold room? Go to the corner it’s always 90 degrees

  •   -   02/15/2023

    Why can you never believe what an atom tells you? They make up everything.

  •   -   02/15/2023

    When does a joke become a “dad” joke? When the punchline is a parent.

  •   -   12/22/2023

    What lies on its back a thousand feet in the air? A millipede.

What would you like to know?

Ask the Upparent community!