I adopted my son when he was just 6 months old, from a family member on my ex husbands side of family. We have an open adoption agreement so he knows this woman is part of his family but he doesn't know she's his birth mom and she passed away today and I'm not sure what to do. Do I tell him or wait for the adoption talk ill have with him when he's ready . He's darker skin color also but has never asked why. I'm raising him not to see that in people.

7 VOTES
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  •   -   10/28/2022

    You know your son best, so I think that whenever you feel he is ready for the adoption talk will be the right time to tell him who his biological mother was, whether that is now or sometime in the future. Even though I can definitely see that her passing would naturally raise the question of whether or not to bring it up now, he's so young that I suspect it would not be as meaningful (or even fully possible) for most kids his age to try and process big ideas like death and adoption as it would be for us as adults. Whatever you decide, he has you there to love and support him, and that's the most important thing! My thoughts are with you during this difficult time...

  •   -   12/08/2022

    First let me say this is beautiful that you stepped up to adopt him! Secondly your his mom in which you know him best and what is best for him. If you truly feel in your heart that he should know now I would say go for it but maybe have others around for support for both of you. With him being so young it may also be a lot better to wait until he is older and can fully grasp such big news( both adoption and death of mother). Children also handle things soooo much differently than we do as adults so its something to really pray on and think about. Sending prayers, love, and hugs to you guys <3

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