Our Corniest Halloween Jokes for Kids

What's the scariest pasta to eat? Fettuccine "afraid-o"

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have any guts.

Why do vampires have no friends? Because they are a pain in the neck.

Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them.

Why don't mummies take vacations? They're afraid to unwind.

Why do graveyards have fences? People are dying to get in.

What did the skeletons say to the comedian? Humerus.

What is inside a ghost's nose? Boo-gers.

Why did the scarecrow get the promotion? Because he stood out in his field.

What is a witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling.

What did the werewolf eat after he had gotten his teeth cleaned? His dentist!

What do you call witches who live together? Broommates.

What is the problem with twin witches? You never know which witch is which.

Why don't skeletons like parties? Because they have no body to dance with.

What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Necktarines.

What did the bat say to his friend? Want to hang around together?

What monster loves to dance? The boogie man.

Where do skeletons go for a fun night out? Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.

What kind of music do mummies like? Wrap!

What should you do if a zombie knocks on your door? Hope it's Halloween!

How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.

Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body!

Knock knock. Who's there? Philip. Philip who? Philip my bag with Halloween candy, please!

What do dentists call their x-Rays? Tooth pics!

Why are skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

What do you call a skeleton that sits around all day? Lazy bones.

What do you say to a skeleton in a restaurant? Bone appetit!

What instrument does the skeleton play in band? Trombone.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the Halloween party? He didn't have the heart for it.

Why do skeletons have so much trouble remembering things? Everything goes in one ear and out the other!

What is the best way to talk to a monster? Far away!

Why did the vampire go to the library? He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into.

What do witches use to style their hair? Scare spray .

What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.

What do vampires fear the most? Cavities.

What celebrations to spiders most love to attend? Webbings