This question was hard to phrase! Tonight we left our 20 month old daughter home with a sitter, and we snuck out while she was distracted like we've always done. I know at some point we will have to say goodbye and that we'll be back soon, even if she cries, but I'm afraid to start doing it! Wondering if there's an appropriate age to stop "disappearing" when we leave the house!

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  •   -   03/04/2019

    Ooh, tough one! We’ve done both, though we now usually opt to say goodbye, to help the little guy (21 months) understand that we are leaving (and not just that we suddenly disappeared!) but that we always come back! If it doesn’t bother your daughter once she realizes you’re gone, though, seems like it works well for you to leave while she is happy and distracted!

    •   -   03/08/2019

      Agreed. My youngest just turned 2 and I've been saying goodbye for months now (if I ever didn't?), but she is also a barnacle, so there's no chance she'd ever be distracted before I actually left! On the flip side, I barely say bye to my 7yo, because he's so excited for the sitter.

  •   -   03/05/2019

    When my kids were young, we used to sneak out while they were playing with the babysitter and it worked well. I don’t remember the magic age of when we started saying goodbye, but I think once you decide to do it your daughter will be fine. Mommy and Daddy always come back!

  •   -   03/20/2019

    I definitely had to sneak out of the house when my younger one was a small toddler. I never liked it but I also did not find it fair to leave a teenage babysitter with a toddler screaming for his mother. Now I love that I can say goodbye to my son, with lots of hugs and kisses!

  •   -   03/23/2019

    When my daughter was little (under 3) she would get increasingly hysterical and clingy if I tried to say goodbye, but then would stop crying as soon as I walked around the corner or shut the door, so I often skipped the goodbye to avoid drama. Just after she turned 3, she wouldn't do a drop-off class because I couldn't stay, so instead we both watched the entire class through a glass door, watched the other kids have fun, watched the parents come back and pick them up, etc. She was really eager to try a different drop off class a week later and has separated easily in all situations (with goodbyes) ever since.

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